Seeking Sanity

Gamon sat awake in his darkened living room, the only illumination coming from the muted TV blaring out the day’s news in silence. It didn’t matter. This world’s news was of no consequence anyway, not unless Gamon fulfills his task.

And what a burdensome task it was. No one truly understood what was being asked of him. It was a load he had to carry on his own, a weight given to him by an accident of birth. He wanted to sleep, to give his mind rest, if only for a few hours. But sleep was difficult for a creature that needed so little of it. It was during these times that he wishes he was born a human. For all his strength, for all his powers, he still finds that he envies humans, living in blissful oblivion to the great forces threatening to tear their world apart, to tear all worlds apart.

But a dragon he was. A dragon he always would be. And of the few remaining members of his race, he just happened to be the chosen one. How can one being carry the fate of so many on his shoulders?

“He is with her right now you know.”

It was Malen, matriarch of the Lee Dragon’s Nest and empress of their entire race.

She was also Gamon’s mother.

“You don’t know that!” Gamon growled so loud he surprised even himself.

“Oh but I do. Have you ever known The Fire to be wrong?”

Gamon hasn’t. Simply because The Fire was never wrong. The Fire was the sacred treasure of their race, ever burning, and as legend would have it, the source of all dragons’ powers. To many it was nothing more than a massive torch made of a mysterious metal that always stayed cold. But it was so much more. For millenia it has been passed on from Nest to Nest, from generation to generation. The Fire is the gateway to knowledge, all knowledge, knowledge of all that was and of all that is to be.

Or so they’ve been taught. Gamon has never really breathed into The Fire. But the Matriarchs of all the Dragon’s Nests around the world have at one time done exactly that. By breathing their fire into The Fire, they were told of its secrets, and for thousands of years, it has served their race well.

It is The Fire that revealed to Malen the special role Gamon has to play. His birth into this nest at this specific time, his unique ability to actually assume human form as opposed to other dragons that can simply appear human, the way he was raised, the fact that he was raised among humans, it all had a purpose. And even if he didn’t want it, it was a burden he and only he can carry. It had to be done.

If only it didn’t have to cost him his heart.

He was here!

For the second time today, just a few minutes before midnight, the angel caught Chie off guard again. There he was, right outside her open window, magnificent wings holding him aloft, as steadily as if he was standing on earth. He was now shirtless, smiling, full of mischief. That smile again. Just the memory of it protected her heart from breaking into a million little pieces, just as it had for several nights now. She stood up, confused.
“wha…” Chie started to say. But the angel was much too swift and in an instant she could say no more, for her mouth was his and his mouth hers, their tongues entwined like lovers who’ve known each other forever. Her head was spinning. This can’t be happening.

But it was…undeniably so, and thus she relented. She could taste him, taste his desire and it tasted like sweet nectar. Her towel fell to the floor and his wing wrapped her in a gentle embrace. The sensations were ripping through her now. She felt as if she was being filled with…light? She was no longer sure of anything at all. Her reality existed right before her. He was all there was. His hand soon found her breast and she gasped as she felt fire where she was wet. Their bodies found the bed, as if they knew it was waiting for them all along. She could feel his body against her’s, and it felt like warm marble. He was on top of her now and she hungrily tore at his jeans. She found him warm and raging and perfect. Looking into her eyes, he entered her. She bit her lip as he filled her, the intensity of her orgasm surprised her. The angel began to plunge into her, controlled, powerful and soon she was lost in ecstacy again…and again and again. She felt hours pass by as she communed with this tireless creature of beauty. He studied his face, it’s strong but gentle contours, the picture of lust. She watched as his wings gently flapped above them, creating a gentle breeze that tickled her skin. It grew stronger as the angel’s lips found her nipple. Soon enough they were floating, and he was still inside her, and the pleasure was almost too much to bear. Almost. As they floated a few feet off the floor, she reached her pinnacle yet again. Over and over until she finally passed out from pleasure she never knew possible.

She awoke with the angel standing above her, watching her sleep.

“Forgive me. I just couldn’t stay away. You’re just too beautiful. By the way…my name is Gabriel”

It occured to her suddenly that she had never known the angel’s name, although she’s met him a few times in the past.  It was only now that she actually got to know him. She smiled, speechless still, finding it hard to accept the compliment. And then she saw it, saw herself, reflected back through the angel’s eyes and she thought,

“He’s right. I AM beautiful.”

“Yes. You are.” Said Gabriel.

“You can read my mind?”

“No. Your thoughts remain your own, but your body speaks to me. I can read the slightest nuances in your actions. And I can see that you’ve only just realized how truly beautiful you are. But trust me you are.”

And she saw he was speaking truth. For in Gabriel’s eyes, all she believed were here little imperfections made her perfect.

Gabriel then sits on the edge of the bed, right beside her,  his wings grazing her thigh. Chie then sees what was behind him, the reliable old clock on her wall. It reads a half past midnight. But it couldn’t possibly be right. They made love for hours! Thinking the batteries have gone dead, she starts to get up to replace them. But he stops her and says,

“There’s nothing wrong with your clock.”

“But it can’t only be 12:30. You…I…we went on for like forever. Right? I know I didn’t just imagine that.”

Gabriel shakes his head and again flashes that disarming smile and says,

“Chie, dearest. You have to know. When an angel makes love to a woman, all time stops…literally.”

And with that he folded his wings and lay down beside her and was soon fast asleep. Chie followed him in slumber moments later, wondering still why Gabriel smelled like fresh sunshine.

Where do Angels go when they fly off into the sky?

“I really must ask him that should I ever see him again.”

Chie smiled to herself. She hasn’t been able to do that much lately. She looked at her watch and winced. She had to meet Gamon in half an hour at the gym, a place where he had much too many admirers and Chie felt she had none. She gathered her belongings and started walking. She could be there in about half that time.

It is believed that dragons, great powerful beasts, made for magnificent lovers, fiery and feral and seemingly never tiring. With this one Chie knew that to be true. It’s been a while since their last communion and she felt a twinge when she realized how much she missed it. One thing she did know that most others didn’t, was that dragons, or at least this one, could be just as cold as they can be fiery, no matter how ironic that might seem.

Soon enough she found herself in front of the gym and she had to brace herself. What kind of dragon would he be tonight? Would he be cold? Would he be hot? Or would he, like on many occasions for much too long now, be swinging recklessly back and forth?

She found herself alone in the elevator. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and thought of the angel. He thought of his smile. She held his smile in her mind. And right there, before the metal doors opened, she took the angel’s smile and wrapped it around her heart. Somehow, she felt stronger and she knew that no matter what happens, her heart would not break. It couldn’t. At least not for tonight.

She went about her work out, looking on as other females, and sadly quite a few males, watched Gamon finish his last set on the bench press. She got off the treadmill. She was done for the night. She went ahead to the locker rooms to freshen up. Disappointingly predictable, Gamon had been for most of the night. She saw a few glimpses of the dragon she loved, when he looked at her from across the room when some pretty young thing was right beside him trying to get his attention, when he playfully slapped her butt as she passed by and she ached for more of those moments. She ached even more for Gamon to actually talk to her. Just talk to her. That part she misses the most. She just didn’t understand.

In his car he looked straight ahead, cold…like the reptile that he is. With a noncommital kiss, he dropped her off at her place and like always, everyone was asleep. Just a few months ago they would have gone straight her room where he would ravish her. But once again, he has already sped off. She felt alone. Not the quiet peacful type of solitude. But the gut wrenching feeling of having no one there. Her heart almost broke, right there, in front of the steps that lead to their front door. But the angel’s smile held. And as she turned her key and went inside, she knew she was whole…at least for now. She was home.

Chie felt exhausted, but not from working out. The whole undefined relationship with Gamon was getting too tiring. She stepped out of the shower and went to her room. Still wrapped in her big white towel, she sat down on her bed and picked up an album from her bedside table. An album filled with happy times. Times with Gamon. She could not bear to open it. The thing felt heavy in her hand, filled with distant memories, memories dangerously close to fading away. She asked herself what it was exactly that she was holding on too. And like the past several nights she could not find an answer. She threw the album away. It hit the floor with a dull thud.

“I want to be a gentleman and look away, but answer me this, what man or angel could?”

Her name is Chie, to most she would seem like a typical 28 year old single woman, career in check, lives with her folks, pet cat, boyfriend. Typical indeed. Few things are farther from the truth though. Chie is actually very special. Not special in the ordinary way that you or I are special. You see, Chie is a witch. A living breathing, modern 21st century witch. No, she does not wear dark make up around her eyes, (though at some point she did) she doesn’t always wear black (though it looks good on her) and she is not surly all the time (but when she is she is a handful). Those are mere stereotypes while Chie, well, she’s the real thing, a Wiccan true and true.

She easily communes with creatures we ordinary folk don’t normally see. In fact, her boyfriend, Gamon, is an oriental dragon. Yes. A dragon. Although most people saw Gamon as a big muscular guy, Chie saw him in his true form. And she thought he was magnificent, and fell in love the instant that they met. It’s been 2 years since and well…things have changed.

And because things have been on a prolonged state of “we’ll see”, Chie decides to go hunting for cute tees to make herself feel just a bit better. Tired of sulking, she decides it’s about time to find her own affirmation. She is of Wiccan pride after all.

At the mall she finds a cute little tee that says “lick me”. that goes perfectly with the Chucks she’s wearing. She decides to wear it out of the store. She heads off to park her cute little ass in her favorite cafe, orders her favorite tea, opens a fresh pack of smokes and brings out a book. She can be perfectly happy by herself. She soon gets lost in the pages of her book that she barely realizes that she’s having a great time. Better than most coffee dates she’s been on. She makes a mental note to “take herself out” more often. Distracted with this thought, she is startled when a voice suddenly says,

“Sure. Where?”

Confused at the comment it takes a moment for her to realize that it’s an angel, one she was sort of friends with. Eventually she mutters,

“Hey. It’s you. What do you mean?”

to which he answers, “your shirt says ‘Lick Me’ so I’m asking where.”

This makes her laugh. A good laugh. He grabs a seat. He asks if he can sit with her a while. Chie puts down her book, and she starts talking with the angel. They talk and talk about inanities and about serious things as well. He learns that she is moving forward while she is unsure if she will be pursued, that she hopes but has grown tired of expecting, that she is happy either way. She learns that he is putting on a strong face. A failed relationship weighs heavily even on an angel’s wings and the slight sag is perceptible in spite his projected levity. They both find it ironic that it was HER who cheated, when the angel was the one with a reputation.

The conversation is smooth and easy and bittersweet…just like their coffee. The setting sun puts on a lightshow of pinks and oranges and grays and in betweens across the urban horizon as the tall spires reached out to catch dwindling rays. As nightfall slowly envelops everything, the angel takes one last gulp of his latte, stands up, gives her the slowest peck on the cheek and says good-bye. As he turned around she felt his wings touch her face.

The angel was about to fly off but turned around and said, “you know, it’s been a while since i last flew. i’ve been feeling so heavy lately thatNit just didn’t feel right. now, i feel like the wind can barely wait to lift me off. You must be magic. Yes…i’m certain you are. I hope you know that. See you soon?”

Chie nods and smiles and the angel smiles back, making her stomach flip. He bends his knees ever so slightly then he pushes off the ground and with one mighty flap of his feathered wings, he lifts off into the night sky.